The process with Totto of me finding the real me has led me down some awkward but freeing paths and made me become conscious of the pitfalls in this reality, which has stopped us being truly who we really are as a human race.
Working with this, I discovered that anytime I felt vulnerable I would yell at my husband, or family members. In life I was unable to show vulnerability and anytime I did feel frightened or weakness of any kind I would react by being angry, agitation or aggressive. As I became more conscious of my behavior through the counseling with Totto, I was able to step back and ask myself what was I actually feeling during times of anger, agitation and aggression.. I then expressed my real feelings in situations instead and showed my vulnerability to my husband. My husband was able to step in and comfort me. I started to connect to the masculine energy which I had been craving for all my life. By expressing my vulnerability and honesty on how I was really feeling inside, he was about to step in and comfort me, understand me and love me. Where as before, my agitation, anger, moodiness would push him away and I was therefore denying myself what I actually needed. By being honest to myself and recognizing how much I needed him, I allowed him to support me and use his masculine energy to make me feel safe and protected. Magical things started to happen. Feelings of separation, loneliness had now been replaced by feelings of connection and security. It brought out a softer side in my being, which radiated out to my children, family and friends. I have been able to express myself far more in all areas of my life and I am now forming deeper connections with others.
Totto has explained to me that there is a false feminine energy, its completely fake, not natural to this reality which we have been connected to instead of the real natural feminine energy. Also entwined within this energy is black magic. When connected to this energy we experience very negative feelings and express them. This false black magic/feminine energy manipulates, controls, hardens and suppresses us. It denies us expressing who we really are and over time we have forgotten the real feminine energy and have excepted the false feminine. The masculine energy had lost his partner and guidance and had been left functioning alone and the real feminine energy has been forgotten. The connection in these two natural energies has been lost and therefore we have lost ourselves and each other. We have been going through life feeling isolated and alone because of this false energy that we are connected to, forgetting the real feminine energy, the soft yet but strong energy which guides the masculine energy and forms the deep connection that we all need and are crying out for. However reconnecting to the real feminine energy is something we can do and by doing this will allow the feminine and masculine energy to reconnect again.
It would be amazing if we could switch off this false feminine energy that currently radiates out through our reality and apparently through the universe but we cant. We cant fight it but we the female can open our hearts and express our vulnerability and allow the man to step forward and express his energy which will free us both. Deep connections can be formed which will radiate out throughout our reality. A step forward for the human race becoming who we truly are, shining our true colours and freeing ourselfs from the false feminine/black magic energy that we are currently acting out.
I do believe once we start to make this first connection we will connect with all of life, animals, plants and Mother Earth herself. Our reality will return back to its natural rhythm and no more manipulation from the dark can take place. We will grow and push out the darkness which manipulated us and our behaviour a long time ago. Beauty and Peace will be felt again!
We are helping beings to remove the black magic, parasites and the walls we have put up around ourselves and once this has been achieved we will gentle guide the being back to the natural rhythm of the feminine and masculine energy so that being can discover and express their true selves and reconnect with their loved ones on a much deeper level. Manipulation, control, power, aggression, fear and anger will cease to exist and unity and love to be felt by all.
Do you manipulate and control others? Do you have anger or live in fear or are you unable to express your feelings and show your vulnerabilities? Do you want to gain deeper connections with loved ones and eliminate feelings of loneliness and isolation These feelings and behaviours are not natural to the human race, these have occurred due to the false feminine energy. Totto and I are currently helping others to connect back to the natural rhythm of life, removing the density away so that person can see their own beauty and express it with honesty without fear of judgement or rejection. A path that will lead us back to who we truly are.